“When Can I Date?” How to Navigate Romantic Relationships Post-Treatment

Once you’re discharged from your addiction treatment program, you may wonder what activities you should begin to engage in. You want to know when you can return to your normal social life again, when to visit old friends and family – and when you should make your return to the dating world. Dating in recovery can be a relapse risk, so the simple answer is that you should wait at least one year before returning to the dating scene.

Wait Immediately After Recovery

If you are not already in a long-term, healthy relationship, you should wait at least one year before you start dating or begin a new relationship after recovery. The first year of your sobriety journey can be very difficult and marked with challenges. A new relationship can complicate the healing process, serve as a replacement addiction, and raise your potential for relapse.

Beginning a new relationship can complicate the spiritual aspects of recovery. If you are in a 12-step program, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, these programs recommend that you follow certain spiritual beliefs and put your faith in a higher power. When you introduce a new love interest into your life during this time, this person can become a replacement for your higher power. This can be dangerous if the relationship ends, leading to emotional instability.

Love is a powerful emotion and many people experience a euphoria during the initial honeymoon phase. To someone in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, this euphoria can be dangerous. Love can serve as a replacement addiction, leading to unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms. Your love interest may not take these addictive behaviors well, leading to an unhealthy and unstable relationship. This relationship is not fair to you, or the other person.

In addition, love and relationships are fraught with emotional highs, lows, and lots of stress. These negative emotions can lead to a risk of relapse. If you encounter a difficult breakup or you get into a serious fight, you may want to turn to your old addiction to cope with these emotions. Since you’re fresh out of recovery, you may not have developed healthy coping mechanisms to handle these emotional challenges.

What Should You Do in the One-Year Period?

If you cannot date anyone during your recovery period, what should you do to prepare your mind and spirit for returning to your normal activities? The first year out of addiction recovery is important for your sobriety and your personal development. During this time, you should put your full focus and energy into your sobriety and rediscovering yourself.

The first year of recovery helps you explore who you are without substances such as drugs and alcohol, re-learning how to engage with other people and what types of activities you enjoy outside of substance use. In addition, you use this time to rebuild your sense of self-esteem and self-worth, which are extremely important in developing a healthy relationship. Most importantly, the first year out of recovery helps you learn healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stressors you encounter in your daily life.

Focus on yourself first during this one-year period. Once you’ve reached the end of this period, you can begin slowly making your way back into the dating world. If you do meet someone you feel a connection with during this period, make sure to take things slow. Explain that your sobriety is the most important thing in your life at the moment and be honest about your situation. Do not jump into a relationship quickly; you could deal with unpleasant side effects.

Challenges of Dating in Recovery

When you finish the one-year period and begin dating again, you can encounter some common challenges that make dating in recovery quite difficult. Many people in recovery deal with these same emotions, feelings, and thoughts.

• Dating may expose you to triggering situations that can run the risk of relapse. You will have to engage in situations where alcohol and possibly drugs may be present, such as going to dinner at a restaurant. You will need to be solid in your sobriety before you enter these situations.
  
• It is common for a date to ask you out for a drink the first time you meet. This can lead to additional triggers. You will need to speak up about your sobriety at this time, so you will need to be confident in voicing your needs.
  
• When you meet new people without the aid of drugs and alcohol, you may experience feelings of social anxiety. You may want to reach for a drink or drugs to take the edge off. Finding healthy coping mechanisms before entering these situations can help alleviate these anxious feelings.
  
• When you start dating, you have to adjust to changes in your routine, your emotions, and your thoughts. Dating can distract you from these foundations, which may have been helpful in your early recovery. However, becoming comfortable to change through early recovery can help you navigate these challenges later on.
  

Tips for Dating in Recovery

So how can you date while in recovery and maintain a healthy, happy balance between your relationship and your sobriety? These strategies can help you navigate these challenges in an easier way.

• Make sure to continue your treatment program while you are dating. Continue to attend group meetings to keep you on track with your recovery progress. Your group members will help you remember that your sobriety is more important than a relationship.
  
• Always be honest with your potential partners about your sobriety. You may feel scared of opening up about this to a new person, but being honest about your sobriety is important to your identity. Any potential partner should be supportive of your sobriety from the beginning, so being honest can help you find the right person.
  
• Do not expect your new partner to change to match your recovery. If they drink or use drugs, believing or expecting them to change can harm your relationship. Discuss your boundaries and triggers and come up with a plan that works for both of you.
  
• Do not date people who are in the same places you frequent, such as dating someone from your AA group or a coworker. If you break up, it can make these formerly safe spaces feel uncomfortable. This can put you at risk of a relapse.
  

Dating while in recovery is possible, but you should wait at least one year until you are comfortable in your sobriety before entering into romantic situations again. If you are looking for a comprehensive recovery program for your drug and alcohol addiction, contact Windmill Wellness Ranch today.